Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Handling the Frustrating

We all face frustrating circumstances. That's just part of life. However, I have learned some things over the years that have been very helpful (of course I wish I could remember and I apply these things every time I get frustrated). Here are some things that have helped me as I have to face those situations:

1. Take a breath. So often we react to a situation rather than respond to it. I completely understand that there are situations that come up that you need to deal with right when it happens. However, many of the things that we need to respond to can wait a little while. So, take a breath and try to respond.

2.  Get it out. What I am not saying is to just verbally unload on the person that has frustrated you. Rather, find a way to get out what you would like to say but shouldn't so that you don't find yourself saying those things when addressing the person. So, if it's a response to an email, open up MS Word and unload everything on that sheet. When you're done, quit the program without saving it. Then, write the email. If it's a conversation you have to have with someone, go to your car and say everything that you would want to say by yourself. Then, after much prayer, go to the person and speak with them.

3.  Get advice. You need at least one person who can speak into your life who is also your sounding board during stuff like this. I'm not saying turn it into a gossip-fest, but rather let them be a help in this. And when you are finished telling them what you're thinking, humble yourself to hear their response with an open mind, teachable and approachable. It may be that you were wrong to begin with.

4. Remember the desired outcome. Remember that the goal is reconciliation, not to prove who is right. If the only reason that you get into confrontations is to prove that you're right, you'll just prove that you're a jerk in the process.

These are some things that have helped me. Now if I could just remember to apply them every time.

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