After I finished the last blog regarding Bass Lake, 2010, I started to head to Mt. Hermon in Santa Cruz. As I got just outside of Oakhurst, it was so strong on my heart to go back to Bass and hang with Jesus. Earlier, before I left, one of my volunteers told me about a dream last night that he had where I had an integrity issue that I needed to deal with. So he asked me if there was something that I needed to come clean about. I told him that I had been blunt honest with my accountability partner about everything going on and couldn't think of anything. That was that, but my mind kept wondering if there was something that I just didn't know about. So I kept asking. Nothing. So I left.
Then we fast forward to all of the students being back on their way to the church and I'm sitting at our campsite with my Bible striving to hear Jesus. Nothing was coming to mind. I kept sitting and then began to pour my heart out about the many struggles that I face and strive to overcome. And then I sensed the voice of Jesus say, "I just wanted to meet you with you at Bass before you left." Here's the thing: I had challenged my high schoolers to really seek Jesus while at Bass. I confessed how I had been feeling disconnected from Jesus lately and was going to also be using my time at Bass to seek him. The thing is, I never did. I was so "busy" getting things done that I didn't. I told the kids that I would and I didn't.
That was the integrity issue that my friend brought up. I said I would seek Jesus at Bass and I didn't. I may have forgotten about this, but Jesus didn't. He took it very seriously that I would be seeking him while at Bass. I sat there and poured out my heart about struggles and feelings and what-not. His response: grace. I kept hearing the word "grace" over and over again. I asked him why he loved me. The answer: "just because." :) That is always enough for me.
I was blessed to go back to Bass and hear from Jesus. I thought it would be another year before I did, but Jesus was definitely interested in keeping me to my word. I guess he likes our time together that much.